Life on a TARDIS

Gallifreyans who attend the Time Academies have their Biodata modified to include Symbiotic Nuclei, making them a Time Lord. On their first day at the "TARDIS Academy" each TARDIS chooses their Time Lord operator from the ranks of Junior Time Lords at the Time Academy. It is also possible (in some situations) for a Gallifreyan with a symbiotic nuclei to purchase a TARDIS. Once chosen, a TARDIS uses its Symbiotic Relationship Circuits to form a symbiotic bond of transcendent biomechanics with the Symbiotic Nuclei known as the Rassilon Imprimature. The Rassilon Imprimature makes a TARDIS more then just a vehicle or even a beast of burden to a Time Lord, they are essential parts of Time Lord technology and culture. The semi-instinctual neural-link between a TARDIS and its operator is almost sexual in its intimacy. Some believe a TARDIS provides a sense of companionship for its Time Lord operator in much the same way that a husband or wife does for their spouse. It is not unheard of for a TARDIS to occasionally leave a new arrival "welcome aboard" gifts. It is impossible (or at least unethical) for a Time Lord to own more then one TARDIS. This is, at least in part, due to the fact that a TARDIS becomes terribly jealous when an operator is bonded to more then one.

Even though hundreds of Time Lords have a TARDIS granted to them they must still obtain authorization before using the TARDIS to leave Gallifrey. Most TARDISes are designed to serve as mobile research laboratories and it takes a team of 6 researchers to make full use of TARDIS's capabilities. Such a team will often consist of the TARDIS's Time Lord operator and 5 technicians or specialists, who might be Apprentice Time Lords or mere Gallifreyans.

While a TARDIS's transportation of its crew through time and space is usually described as a "Journey" it is just as accurate to say that a TARDIS actually works by recording is crew's biodata and reprocessing/manipulating their future to take into account a different location in space and time. As part of this process the Auto-Systems ensure that the crewmember's reality quotients remain at 1.

A TARDIS constantly generates a low-level telepathic field, which allows it to telempathically read the surface thoughts of its crew. This allows a fully functional TARDIS to guide lost crewmembers to their destination using glowing arrows on the walls. The movement of non-sentient animals within a TARDIS can be controlled by setting the TARDIS to deliver electrostatic shocks if an animal moves into forbidden area. A TARDIS with Time War era upgrades automatically reconfigures the architecture to make sure the room the crewmember needs comes to him. Being four dimensional beings TARDISes are even able to alter the architecture to accommodate future passengers before the ship's Time Lord knows there will be a new passenger. This can extend to rearranging and creating new living rooms.

The Auto-Gravity System automatically adjusts the gravity, within reason, whilst in the Vortex to acclimatize the crew to the local gravity of the destination. The gravity can also be manually controlled and the setting of individual rooms can be configured separately.

The TARDIS has devices that will alter the metabolism of its travelers so that they won't gain too much weight if they overeat. The Autocleaning systems' Laundry Circuits automatically repair, clean, and iron any clothes left overnight in the sleeping quarters. Normally the interior of a TARDIS is quite sterile and its atmosphere is automatically cleaned. There is only one known case of a poorly maintained TARDIS spreading an organic virus from one time zone to another, indicating that a fully functional TARDIS must have some sort of anti-viral software.

A TARDIS always plays a very light melody in the background to soothe and relax its crewmembers. This melody sounds like a steady hum to non-Gallifreyans. The tone of the hum changes depending on whether the TARDIS is materialized or in the Vortex. While traveling in the Vortex the TARDIS always has a faint vibration, which vanishes when the ship materializes. A TARDIS has an optional diurnal (day/night) cycle. The duration of these cycles, if enabled, will be derived from the brainwaves of the authorized crewmembers.

A TARDIS interior micro-universe is created using Transcendental Equations that don't interface with Normal Space in a traditional way. The Hynoleptic Interface's default setting creates numerous internal illusions to prevent lesser humanoid species who are travelling in a TARDIS from going insane. Observant crewmembers will find that for every month they spend inside a TARDIS they will age slightly less then a week. However, when energy supplies are completely depleted, the passage of time inside the TARDIS slows down relative to the exterior.

Using the Telepathic circuits the TARDIS automatically compensates for traditional jet lag. However certain malfunctions in the TARDIS systems can cause crewmembers to experience extreme jet lag. Some, (if not all 22) Time Lord temporal senses grow more acute the more times a Time Lord crosses the Time-Fields in a TARDIS. Because of this Time Lords are vulnerable to Temporal Shift Lag. Such effects can only be overcome if the Time Lord develops special mental disciplines. Temporal Shift Lag only effects Time Lords.

Though the TARDIS provides almost total protection from the energies of the Vortex, with each trip the crew of a TARDIS will still be lightly irradiated with Artron Energy from the universe's background radiation. This radiation cannot be found in temporally stable environments and exposure can only occurs by traveling in the Vortex. The level of artron energy oxidants in the crew's DNA will incrementally build up with each trip. For this reason traveling in a TARDIS also has significant effects on the brain of any lesser species. The lymphocyte white blood cells will also mutate slightly under the influence of the radiation, but there are no negative side effects from this irradiation and it will never reach dangerous levels. The exposure does provide greater reserves for certain telepathic situations and will grant even lesser species a sensitivity to the changing of history. It might help a member of a lesser species survive travel though the Vortex and interstitial time.

Vortex travel will also cause the crew to accumulate Bockatrons, and Harminum, and other exotic particles. While most humanoids experience no side effects, a small percentage of life-forms that lack Symbiotic Nuclei suffer from Time-Sickness during flight. This usually manifests itself as strong feeling of dislocation but can take the form of headaches or digestive disorders.

Every TARDIS contains instruments for measuring these types of irradiation and thus verifying if the subject has traveled through the Vortex. These effects will show up very plainly in certain types of very advanced brain scans and the effect can be used to date the exposure. While it is possible to drain this energy out of a time traveler's DNA and put it to some sort of constructive use, under normal circumstances the levels of concentration will never fade.

Color Key

The following color code is used:

• Black: For information from the TV Series, including Dimensions in Time, and 1996 TV Movie.
• Blue: For information from the Novels and Audios including Target, Virgin, BCC, and Big Finish.
• Green: For information from 'licensed' reference sources such as the Technical Manual, Doctor Who Magazine, and the Role Playing Games.
• Red: For information from unofficial sources -The Faction Paradox series, behind the scenes interviews, author's speculation, and popular fan belief.

Copyright Will B Swift

You visited the Whoniverse at 5:12 pm BST on Friday 3rd September 2010